


Foxes and their uses on adventures and romance

by canary_blues



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-08 13:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 7,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canary_blues/pseuds/canary_blues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hobbit kink meme: I see him as a little fox (see what I did there?;)) or something. I would like for this to be common knowledge among the dwarves and none of them batting an eyelid when he randomly disappears only for a small brown fox to start trotting alongside Fili or Bilbo in his place. </p><p>We know Bilbo clearly has a soft spot for animals since he was treating his pony to apples and was ready to sneak into a troll camp just to save them. So Kili uses this to his advantage. </p><p>Cue Kili being utterly, undeniably adorable in his animal form, laying his muzzle on Bilbo's lap at night or curling up beside him for extra warmth. Little things like that. </p><p>Maybe Fili thinks this is hilarious, or pathetic, or teases his brother. The other dwarves eye-rolling, Thorin sighing over his nephew using his shapeshifting gift to score points, etc. </p><p>Honestly you can make Kili's animal form anything, you can make ALL the dwarves shapeshifters, you can go wild. Just as long as it's got some sort of Kilbo undertones and Kili using his adorable animal self to his advantage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introductions are made

When Bilbo opens his door again its to a blond dwarf with more weapons than Bilbo knows what to do with. He looks the hobbit over before nodding to himself.

“Fili and Kili,” He bows. “At your service.” Then he's stepping around Bilbo and handing over weapons and whatever he's saying gets lost when the fox Bilbo thought was a fur wrap leaps to the floor and yips delightedly at the frightening dwarf who arrived first.

“Stop that, what use are you at that size? Come help us.” Dwalin gestures the fox into kitchen and Fili has only just finished handing over all his weapons. “Fili, come.”

“Right away Mister Dwalin.”

“Wait-”

Bilbo dumps the weaponry to the side when there's more knocking and the fox is circling his feet and chirping excitedly when he makes his way over to the door. “Stop that, you'll get stepped on. Silly thing, move.” It barks until he picks it up and just in time to not be squished by the dwarves that fall to his floor. “Gandalf.”

“I see you've met Master Kili.”

“Master-”

“Oh good!” Fili is at his side and helping dwarves off the floor. “Come, come eat! Its an impressive feast I must say! Kili, go! Finish setting the table!”

The fox squirms out of Bilbo's arms and lands with a thump barely audible over the loud conversation. There's a second, between its landing and its first step, where the air seems to twist and then there's another dwarf in his front hall. He's laughing and spins Bilbo as if they were partners in a dance and then Kili is bouncing off to set the table.

Gandalf is giving him a look that's far too amused for his liking and Bilbo is gearing up to give him a piece of his mind when there's a clatter and good lord, that's the antique plates he can tell from the sound.


	2. A bit of gossip is exchanged

It was a rash decision and Bilbo will have to take time later to properly think through why he decided to go on this journey but for now he's just trying to keep out of the way. He's arguing the use of athelas with Ori when several of the dwarves start laughing ahead of them. They glance up and Kili is tripping over his own paws, fur matted with mud and twigs as he stumbles out of the forest.

He looks embarrassed as a fox can at the attention and he slinks over to his brother's side without meeting anyone eyes. Bilbo sends a questioning look Gandalf's way but the wizard merely shakes his head and smiles. Kili follows his brother's pony and determinedly stares at the ground, ears flattening when Dwalin says something in Khuzdul.

Ori laughs and turns over the leaf in his hands. “What did he say?” Bilbo asks quietly.

“Kili's got a bad habit of wandering off. Mister Dwalin says he'll make him into gloves if he vanishes again.”

“Why does he run off so often?”

Ori shrugs. “Its the fox I suppose. I hear most shifters have a tendency to wander.”

“Are there many dwarves who can do it? Turn into a fox?”

“Shifting isn't terribly unusual.” Ori tucks the athelas leaf into a pouch. “Its a common enough trait, I think. Runs in families.”

“Can Fili do it?”

“I think Kili's the first to shift in a few generations. You'd have to ask Thorin to know for sure.”

“Thorin?”

“He's their uncle.”

“Oh. I didn't know that.”

“Because its no one's business but their own.” Dori sends the two of them a look and Ori fiddles with his reins. “What are you two gossiping about?”

“I was only asking about shapeshifters. Are foxes a common form?”

“They aren't.” Fili sighs. “We were all very disappointed the first time he changed. We were hoping for something bigger, like an ox or even a pig.”

“Why?”

“Well, when it comes down to it.” Bofur turns in the saddle to look at him.

“Can't rightly eat a fox, can you?” Gloin finishes. Bilbo makes a horrified noise and the dwarves all share a good laugh.


	3. Brothers are quick on the uptake

Kili is up to something. Fili doesn't know what he's playing at yet but he knows its something big. So he watches his brother and very carefully doesn't mention to Thorin that Kili is planning something because he'd put a stop to it and Fili desperately wants to know what's going to happen. Thorin will catch on soon enough (he's never in the dark long when it comes to his nephews) but for now there's nothing to intentionally interfere with his plans.

He's currently buried to his tail in Bilbo's travel bag and knocking things around and to the ground. He crawled in there a few minutes ago and has been making the most of his time, investigating items and gnawing on things that shouldn't necessarily be gnawed on. Then there's a startled shout and Bilbo's dragging him out of the bag by the scruff of his neck and glaring at him.

“Kili.” The fox wiggles uselessly. “What are you doing in my bag?”

He yips around the small wooden box in his mouth and kicks his back feet out. Its all the warning he gives before changing back into a dwarf. He's smiling widely and drops the box into his hand before leaning forward and pressing his nose to Bilbo's. Then he's spinning around and out of his grasp to head towards the woods.

Fili knows he's not the only one watching them but he's pretty sure he's the only one who knows the true significance of it. Kili never shifts when someone's touching him. He told him once that it felt odd, that the magic that allows him to change twists and settles wrong and makes him itch under his skin. Makes him feel like he needs to run, run, run and just never stop in fear that the magic will break and he'll be trapped in one form.

But he lets Bilbo touch him. He lets the hobbit pet his head and comb the burs from his pelt. He curls up with him at night when it gets cold and brings him berries and other interesting plants.

Kili is courting the halfling.

“That mongrel!” Everyone jumps at Fili's shout. “Kili! Get back here this instant you useless bag of fur! We are having words!”

He stomps into the forest in search of his brother and shouts threats the entire way. Everyone else is left very confused.


	4. Foxes are hard to stay mad at

No one knows what the brothers are arguing about but they've been at it for two days now and its starting to get irritating. They're trailing behind the company, whispering fiercely and gesturing wildly but fall silent whenever someone comes close enough to hear them. Bilbo knows when it starts to grate on Thorin's nerves because his eye starts twitching every time one of the brothers hushes the other. He hears the others start making bets on when Thorin will snap and politely declines when asked if he wants to play.

It all comes to a head when Fili grabs his brother in a headlock and they end up falling from their ponies and wrestling on the ground and shouting insults. From Fili's outburst in camp to Thorin's yelling at them to behave like adults, its four days six hours and eleven minutes. Dwalin wins. There is much grumbling from the losers. Kili bit Fili while they were wrestling and is scolded for it. He pouts and refuses to look anyone in the eye until nightfall when he and Fili are tasked with watching the ponies.

Gandalf storms off not long after choosing a camp site and Bilbo helps Bofur cook up a stew. Then he almost gets killed by trolls and in the morning Kili presses his muzzle to Bilbo's hand and licks his fingers. Bilbo feels the residual irritation and angry adrenaline of being sent into a troll camp alone melt away.

“You're doing this on purpose.” Kili whines quietly and crawls into his lap. “I'm still mad at you.” The fox presses his muzzle to Bilbo's chin and nuzzles him. “You're the worst.”

Across the campfire, Fili is laughing at them.


	5. Kili isn't known for subtlety. It shows.

Bifur is the first to catch on after Fili. He watches them with hawklike focus and meets Fili's eyes one night and they share a knowing nod and smirk. He signs something and they both laugh heartily at the entire business.

Then its Ori and he drops a stitch of his scarf when it dawns on him. He looks up from his project and stares at Kili who's just come prancing from the trees with a mouth filled with pipe-weed for Bilbo. The young dwarf blinks at what is clearly a courting gift and then looks over at Fili and Bifur who nod.

One by one, the company all notice the little things Kili does that mark Bilbo as special. How he brings him pipe-weed and rabbits, and curls against him on cold nights, and plays silly games with him. And they see that Bilbo is responding to it in kind. He grooms Kili's fur and braids his hair, manages to give him just half a mouthful more than his share, and whispers secret things to him at night.

Its odd how they seem to fit; Bilbo tempers his rash personality and Kili is helping him nurture his sense of adventure. They share little smiles and brush their hands together whenever possible and everyone has secretly begun making wedding plans. It'll have to be after they retake Erebor but it'll be a lovely ceremony they're all sure.

They're settled in for the night and Kili is sitting between Fili and Bilbo, refusing to let either out of his sight since the near miss with the Storm Giants earlier. He's talking quietly with Bofur who's teasing him about something or other when the floor creaks and there's only a moment between Thorin shouting and all of them tumbling down into the mountain.


	6. Thorin wishes for the impossible

There's a moment when the Great Goblin looks them over that Thorin fears he sees Kili for what he is. Shapeshifting is a gift only the dwarves and Beorning possess and one could make a hefty profit in the capture and selling of shifters. Thorin has no doubt that Kili would fetch a fine price, even if only his fox skin was being sold.

But the moment passes and instead threats are turned to Ori and Thorin will protect his company with everything he has. There's the rush and blur of battle and then all he knows is the look of desperate heartbreak on his nephew's face when the hobbit can't be found. Its a look he's seen many times before on those who have lost loved ones in battle and it hurts him, to see his young nephew's shoulders sag in mourning and grief. 

Then a stone rolls down the hill and Bilbo is stumbling past trees and looking apologetic and only slightly worse for the wear. Kili looks on the brink of tears but he's smiling wider than Thorin's ever seen him before and everyone shares his joy for a brief moment before the howl of a warg rips through the night air. They're all moving then and Kili almost doesn't make it into a tree helping Bilbo yank his sword from a warg's head.

Its blurred by hurt and the near certainty of death but Thorin knows he owes the hobbit a great debt. Perhaps even greater than he will ever know as he suspects Bilbo would have acted the same even if he didn't have feelings for Kili. What he lacks in training he certainly makes up for in pure willingness to throw himself into dangerous situations to protect others and Thorin would be pleased to have him in the family.

Now if only Kili would stop acting like a lovestruck simpleton and more like a competent husband to be.


	7. Bears are surprisingly good hosts

They've descended the mountain and its Kili, of course, who finds Beorn in the woods while he's chasing a fat quail. They're given lodgings by the bear shifter and Kili is almost always a fox. He jumps from Bilbo's lap to Fili's to Thorin's and steals from their plates like its a game before wrestling with the strange dog servants. They all rest and eat well for the first time in months and even begin to gain back weight loss on the journey.

“If you get much fatter you won't be able to ride on our shoulders.” Fili teases his brother. “You'll make a lovely stew though.”

Kili turns his nose up and sniffs indignantly before running off to weave between Beorn's paws and dance around him in excitement. He and the bear run together and Kili takes great joy in riding on his back whenever possible. Thorin is reluctant to leave him alone with a stranger large enough to eat him and is rather glad that Bilbo and Ori have a tendency to follow them into the forest and ask countless questions of the shifters.

When they part ways its with full stomachs and rested bodies. Kili waves goodbye perhaps more than is necessary but no one mentions it. Ori gushes about all the new things he's learned and Bilbo's face is still flushed from Beorn's wishing him a long, happy union with the fox shifter. Everyone leaves in higher spirits than before.


	8. Creepy crawlers and first kisses

Its difficult to keep time in the Mirkwood but they still try. They think its late afternoon and Thorin has called for the group's game of fetch ended so as not to attract attention with the extra noise. Kili is settled on Fili's shoulder with his paws on his brother's head to keep balance as he counts everyone in their party for the sixth time in an hour.

“We're all still here.” Fili murmurs and pats his brother, knowing that as uneasy as the woods make him it must be worse for Kili's animal instincts. “Your burglar is still safe.”

Kili makes a noise like a scoff as he stretches out along Fili's shoulders but keeps an eye on the hobbit, currently talking quietly with Bofur.

“You'd think he was a rare jewel the way you want to keep him in your pocket.” Fili tilts his head back to press against the fox. “Do you write your names together on bits of parchment? Will you be wearing white or will he?”

His teeth are halfway to Fili's nose when his ears swivel and his entire body goes tense. Then he's on the ground and screaming only moments before spiders come crashing down from the trees. He's back in his dwarf form in time to not be instantly killed by the amount of venom pumped into his body but its a close thing.

Tracking time is impossible through the haze of poison. When awareness begins to slowly return Bilbo is tearing at the webbing and there are pieces of spiders spread across the clearing he doesn't remember being brought to.

There's a moment, once he's free but the world is still spinning a little, where Kili grabs Bilbo's hand and presses a kiss to his palm. “When we've taken Erebor I will burn down this stupid forest so you never have to see a spider again.”

Blbo laughs, cups his face and kisses him soundly. “I'll hold you to it, fox prince.”


	9. Theories of shifting are discussed

Its nearly a week after the spiders that an elvish scout finds them. He probably would have turned them in had he not instantly picked Kili up and stared at him in silence for twenty minutes.

“I didn't know dwarves could change into foxes.” He scratches Kili behind the ears and is rewarded with a purr. “I was told they only transformed into large, ugly creatures.”

Thorin looks ready to punch the elf's face in. “I didn't know either.” Bilbo gives Thorin a warning look. “Would you like to walk with us? Ask some questions?”

“Yes, please.” He falls into step beside the hobbit. “You are not a dwarf.”

“No, I'm a hobbit from the Shire. Bilbo Baggins. The one you're holding is Kili.”

“I am Legolas. Are foxes a common form?”

“No actually.” Ori jumps in and smiles eagerly. “Typically dwarves change into large animals like oxen, or a number of moderately sized semi-subterranean animals like groundhogs. Kili is the first to shift in five generations and before him they usually turned into a type of badger. I actually have a theory that since Kili has lived above ground nearly his entire life his shifting reflects that. Foxes aren't good for long stretches underground but they thrive in woodlands and hills. They're fast and've got good eyesight which fits well with his archery.”

“He's an archer? I didn't know dwarves could be archers.”

“Oh yes, he's very good at it.” Bilbo smiles at the suddenly embarrassed fox.

“Really?” Legolas looks thoughtful. “I would like to see him.”

“Maybe a friendly competition later then.” Thorin gets another nonverbal warning. “Can elves shape shift?”

“No we connect with the world differently.”

“How do you mean?” Nori and Dori look ready to rip Ori away. “Connect with the world?”

“Elves sense the magic and energy of the world, we feel it with our entire being. Its a part of us and speaks to us.” Legolas pets Kili's head. “Do dwarves not feel the earth and trees?”

“The earth yes, in a way.” Ori taps fingers against his leg. “Rock and mountain calls to us. But we can't hear trees.”

Legolas nods and takes in their surroundings. “It will be faster if you go slightly west. Do hobbits hear the world?”

“I don't know, I've never tried. What do you mean go west?”

“You're heading for a river though I think you're trying to escape the forest.” Legolas helpfully points in the direction they should be going. “Have you come across any spiders yet?”

“Yes, a few days ago.” Bilbo can see Thorin is trying to shove down his rising need to be violent. “Will you be traveling with us then?”

“I'd like to ask you more questions.”

Legolas is just as fascinated by dwarf culture as he is with Kili's abilities. And he's strangely interested in Gloin's hair, commenting that no elves have such coloring.

“Its very pretty.”

“It is.” Gandalf is far too amused by the dwarves' discomfort. 

“And your braids are so intricate. Do they have a meaning?”

“Yes.” And that's the end of that line of questioning.

On the third day of Legolas following them Kili changes and they have a game of target practice. It ends with both of them trying to teach Ori to shoot an arrow. Oin nearly loses an eye and everyone agrees its time to put the bows away.

Day eight finds Kili hyperventilating in the elf's arms and looking ready to vomit on his boots.

“What's wrong with him?!” Fili snatches the fox away.

“If Master Ori's reasoning proves true then he's much better suited to life in the Shire than in mines or tunnels. Being underground could be dangerous for him, the magic of your mountains may interfere with his slightly more wild magic and cause him to lose his ability to shift. So I asked if he would be returning with Bilbo to the Shire after your journey is over.”

Silence falls over the group as they take in his reasoning and they all feel something like dread fill their stomachs.

“We haven't discussed it yet.” Bilbo clears his throat awkwardly. “Its something for a more private setting I would think.”

“Of course, my apologies.” Legolas doesn't look apologetic but then he never really looks like he has strong feelings of any kind. “I believe I will taking my leave.”

“So soon?” Nori asks snidely.

The elf points straight ahead. “If you continue that way you'll be out of the forest in less than a day. I've spent too long with you, I must return to my father.”

“Your father?”

“Thranduil, King of the Mirkwood.” Thorin snaps a rather large branch off a tree and makes an intensely angry noise. “I bid you farewell and good luck on whatever your quest may be.”

“Yes, thank you.” Gandalf is bodily moving Thorin away. Bilbo and Ori are the only ones to wave goodbye though Kili does make a strange sort of noise and look over his brother's shoulder until they can't see him anymore.


	10. As relationship talks go it could have been much worse

“The son of that traitorous, elk shagging tree nymph had his hands all over you!” Thorin hasn't stopped complaining since they left the Mirkwood. Kili isn't listening because he's working himself up into a heart attack thinking about the future and how Bilbo can't live in Erebor he's a hobbit, they aren't made for underground and he can't live in the Shire, he can't leave his family. Are they going to have to break up?

“Stop thinking.” Fili whispers so he doesn't irritate Thorin further. “I can hear it and its just going to give you a headache.”

Kili whimpers quietly and tucks his muzzle under Fili's chin. What if Bilbo wasn't taking this relationship as seriously as he was? What if this was just an adventure long fling? Do hobbits fall in love more than once? Was Bilbo in love with him? Shit, did he ever even tell Bilbo he was in love?

“Okay, that's it.” Fili grabs him by the scruff and hands him over to Bilbo. “He's your problem now. Try to calm him down before he works himself into a proper fit.”

“What-”

Thorin just sort of yells in rage and kicks a tree over. Everyone agrees to set up camp for the night and not try to engage him in conversation. Everyone then glares at Bilbo until he sighs and takes Kili a fair distance away to have as private a talk as one can manage while traveling in a large and nosey group.

“Change back, I'm not having this discussion with a fox.” Kili does so reluctantly and sits across from him silently. “Stop looking at me like I've just killed your dog.”

“We didn't properly think this out.”

“No, we didn't. So what are we going to do about it?”

“I don't know. I can't leave my family, retaking Erebor is only the beginning. We'll have to clean up the mess and reestablish political ties with other kingdoms and it'll take time. Dwarves will need to make the journey and that might take years, getting us all home to the mountain. Thorin will need all the help he can get and I can't just leave Fili there to sort out how to be heir to the throne while I run off to fool around in the Shire.” Bilbo covers his mouth.

“Take a breath, stop talking for a moment.” Kili inhales deeply through his nose. “I can't live in Erebor, not forever. Hobbits aren't made for mountains and politics.”

“It wouldn't be forever. It won't need to be forever. I'll take you back to the Shire.”

“I know you will.” Bilbo sighs. “I guess we'll just have to wait for things to settle before we head back.”

“You'll wait for me?” Kili sounds so painfully hopeful Bilbo can't help but roll his eyes.

“Of course I will. Hobbits are very patient creatures.”


	11. Rings are talked about but not the wedding kind

The people of Laketown are unnerving in their willingness to see to the company's every whim. It was nice at first but it starts to grate on everyone's nerves after the first day and it leaves them all restless and ready to move on. They stay only four days and its their last night there that Bilbo walks into his room to find Kili holding his travel bag.

“I don't recall you having a ring at the beginning of our journey.” He says it lightly but his voice is strained.

“Because I didn't.” Bilbo sits on the bed and pats the space next to him. “I found it in the tunnels under the goblin caves.” He tells him about falling and the creature that lives in the mountain and about a game of riddles that nearly got him eaten. At some point he takes the ring from the bag and rolls it around in his palm and all Kili wants to do is slap the wretched thing away.

His hand had brushed against it while he'd searched through Bilbo's bag and the animal inside him had screamed at the wrongness of it. “There are not many magic rings in this world. Fewer still that are unclaimed.”

“I know.”

“It feels wrong.”

“Does it? I don't have much instinct for these things.”

Kili makes a distressed noise and grabs Bilbo's hand to stop his playing with the ring, still being careful not to touch it. “We should give it to Gandalf.”

“Not Thorin?”

“A dwarf has no use for something like that.”

“Like what?”

“Evil. It brings disaster, I can feel it.” He squeezes Bilbo's hand. “Get rid of it.”

“Kili-”

“I know I have no right to ask you. But at the very least tell Gandalf about it.” He shifts closer and presses his forehead to Bilbo's. “Please.”

“We can tell Gandalf, he'll know more about it.”

“Thank you.” Kili sounds so honestly relieved that Bilbo almost feels guilty for wanting to keep the ring.


	12. In which glass doors are not the most irritating kind

Gandalf is lost in thought again and Thorin knows it has something to do with the hobbit but no one will tell him anything. Kili is clearly in on it but he refuses to say anything about it and looks ready to take it to his grave should Thorin push for information. He knows Fili is watching his brother and the burglar closely so he leaves it be. For now they need to focus on finding that blasted door.

“Maybe its around back.” Oin suggests.

Thorin feels his frustration grow and then Kili is thundering round the bend and shaking his head in answer to the unasked question. They're all frustrated and he can see tempers are beginning to flare when Bilbo nearly falls off his rock perch following a bird's flight. Kili barks in laughter and there are several snickers among the group.

“Shut-oh.” Bilbo points up and smiles. “There it is.”

They all turn as one and sure enough, the thrush is knocking a snail against the now visible door.

“Well done, Master Bilbo.” Gandalf is smiling brightly like this is going exactly as he'd planned. Thorin wouldn't put it past him, the crafty bastard.


	13. Fluffy tails and friendly teasing

Kili has to be restrained so he won't follow Bilbo into Smaug's lair. He hisses and whines and makes the worst racket until Fili threatens to have Bombur sit on him at which point he quiets considerably. He does manage to sneak off at one point but he'e back within minutes with the thrush in his jaws and some of his worried energy spent.

Then there's a terrible rumble and suddenly Smaug is out of Erebor and heading the way they had come from. When Bilbo appears unharmed they all tolerate Kili fussing over him for a moment.

“There's a spot on his chest, on the left side just by his heart. Its not armored like the rest of him.”

“Is that his only weakness?”

“That I can tell.” Bilbo bats away Kili's hands. “If we've a clear shot an archer can take him down.”

“Kili.”

“I can do it.” He stands up straight and rolls his shoulders back. “I will do it.”

“We know the direction he'll be coming from, find a perch and be ready to take your shot. Fili your eyes are as good as his, go with him. Everyone else be ready to act as a distraction if need be.”

The group breaks up and the brothers prepare to find their spot when Bilbo grabs his arm. “Be careful.”

“Always.” He gives Bilbo a brief kiss and a smile. “I've got my hobbit waiting for me.”

“Your hobbit can wait by himself, we've work to do.” Fili is looking down at hem from a ledge. “Get up here, fluff tail.”

“My tail is not that fluffy.”

“Are you sure? Every time I see you you look less like a fox and more like a kitten.”

“A kitten! How dare you! Are you hearing this?!”

Bilbo nods and looks at Fili gravely. “I am. And he's much more like a bunny than a kitten.”

“Bunny!”

“You'd best be off.” Bilbo pats his arm and kisses his cheek. “Thorin's looking rather annoyed.”

“You-a bunny!” Kili throws his hands into the air and points an accusing finger at Fili. “You've corrupted my hobbit!”

Fili's too busy laughing to answer.


	14. Waiting is the hardest part

Kili is a fox again, listening for the beating of wings and scenting for the wind for smoke and dry heat. Fili is checking over his bow and testing his arrows while they wait.

“I can't believe you managed it.” Kili's ears flick backwards to show he's paying attention. “Tricking our burglar into accepting your courtship, I mean. I've no idea how you did it.”

His brother huffs and scans the skies again. “I'm truly impressed. I thought his good hobbit sensibilities would keep him safe but apparently not. Well done, Kili.”

The fox rolls its eyes and knocks a stone backwards to bounce off Fili's leg.

“Anything yet?” Balin calls.

“Not-” Kili yips and shifts back.

“He's coming!”

“Everyone into position!” Thorin orders. “Burglar, out of sight and out of danger.”

Kili smiles because he just knows that Bilbo is frowning in that way that means Thorin is being so irritatingly Thorin again. Smaug isn't in sight yet but his smell is strong on the wind and Kili slides his arrow into position.

“He's coming in fast, we'll only have one chance.” He whispers to Fili. “If I miss, promise you'll get the others out of here.”

“On the honor of our house.”

His ears lengthen and his teeth grow sharp when Smaug comes into view. “How many boots do you think we can get out of him?”

“Depends. Do we want matching belts?”

Kili's grin is near feral when he lines up his shot. He swears that he and the dragon lock eyes as he lets his arrow go.


	15. Treasure and gifts

There's more gold and jewels in Erebor than Bilbo could ever know what to do with. They're piled high in mountains of shiny splendor that dazzle the eye and would ignite anyone's lust for treasure. And Kili has been digging through it for three hours.

“Will you sit down?” Bilbo had made himself as comfortable as possible on a smaller pile of gold. “What are you even looking for?”

“I'm looking for a proper courtship gift. Engagement gift.” Kili tosses a diamond aside. “It has to be perfect or you'll be lured away by someone with countless books. But if Thorin asks we're looking for the Arkenstone.”

“You're ridiculous.”

“Yes.” The pile shifts dangerously. “Do you like sapphires? I think they'd bring out your eyes.”

“I don't need jewels.”

“There's more than enough gold here, I could make you something.”

“Kili.” He looks up from his searching. “I don't need riches or fancy trinkets.”

“Maybe not, but you deserve them.”

Bilbo smiles and throws a small gem at his back. “Come sit with me, stop fidgeting.”

“But-” He huffs at the look Bilbo gives him and climbs up to sit next to him. “This isn't comfortable at all.”

“Its not. What does the Arkenstone look like?”

“Well its-” Kili drums his fingers against the gold. “I don't really know. I've never seen it.”

“Then how are we to find it?”

“The prettiest stone? Its said to contain the mountain's heart in it.”

“I don't know what that means.”

“Neither do I.”

There's silence for a moment before Bilbo shakes his head and snorts. “I'll be lured away by someone with countless books?”

“Don't laugh at me, it could happen.”

Bilbo hums thoughtfully. “Ori's claimed the library for his own.”

Kili shoves him into the treasure pile and kisses him silly. Then there's a loud crash and Thorin is shouting in inarticulate rage.


	16. Politics sometimes involve some sneaking

“Historical claims!” Thorin is pacing and waving his arms around. “We will give them no part of our treasure! They didn't help us when Smaug invaded but now that the beast is gone, oh! They have as much claim as we do!”

Fili raises his hand meekly. “Shouldn't we at least pay them for the damages? Smaug only attacked them because they helped us.”

“I will not-”

“Thorin Oakenshield, you will be silent.” Gandalf looks at them with tired irritation. “You will pay them for damages and then we will sit down and discuss this with them in a civilized manner.”

“They're no better than thieves. And where is your brother?!”

“Thorin?” Gloin pushes the door open and peeks in. “Elves have joined the men.”

Thorin flips a table and screams at the ceiling.

Kili and Bilbo aren't there to see Thorin throw a huge hissy fit because they're sneaking down to the camps set up outside the mountain.

“Well they aren't terribly pleasant are they?” Bilbo murmurs to the fox. “And they smell, they've only been here a few hours how can they already smell so bad?”

The fox presses into his invisible companion and they creep closer, eavesdropping on plans and hiding weapons. They're halfway back up the mountain when Bilbo is struck by an idea.

“They're after treasure, right? Why not just give them my share?” Kili makes a sound like a wounded baby seal and Bilbo just scoops him up. “Yes, I think that will do nicely.”

Thorin looks like he's about to have a heart attack when they let themselves into the conference room. “Where have you been?!”

“We went down to the camps.” Kili hops down from his shoulders and circles his feet twice before shifting back. “And we've figured out what to do.”

“Have you.”

“Bilbo is willing to give his share of the treasure to those backstabbing wretches out there.”

“No.”

“Well its a good thing its not you decision or we'd be up to our heads in war declarations.” Bilbo glares at the king. “You and Gandalf will go down and tell then that they will split a fourteenth of the treasure and then you will come back here. He will do the talking.”

Kili claps his hands together and smiles. “I'm glad we sorted this out without bloodshed. Good evening everyone, we're off to our rooms.”


	17. Sweet nothings and mood ruiners

Kili has him pressed into a pile of gold and is whispering sweet nothings that just skim the border of being absolutely filthy against his lips when Bilbo shifts ever so slightly and suddenly treasure is digging uncomfortably into his back.

“Shoot, sorry hold on.” Kili makes a displeased noise when he's pushed back so Bilbo can find what's jabbing him. “Hush, it'll only take a mo-oh.”

The stone in his hand is almost unnaturally smooth and its clear as the waters that run through the Shire with the exception of the flame within that seems to beat like a heart. Its not nearly as heavy as it looks and it seems to emanate a strange sense of calm and power.

Kili makes a harsh noise above him. “You found the Arkenstone.” There's a moment of awed silence and then he buries his face in Bilbo's shoulder. “I was trying to have sex with you on on top of the Arkenstone. We can't ever tell anyone about this, they'll think we desecrated it or something. Uncle would kill us.”

“Please don't talk about Thorin when you have your hand halfway down my trousers.”

“Fili's going to laugh himself sick.”

Bilbo makes a face. “When I said Thorin I really meant anyone not involved in our having sex.”

“Right, sorry.” They look at it for a long while before Kili sighs and rolls off him. “I suppose we should give it to Balin or something. You know, I think by the end of this you'll be uncle's favorite.”

“Don't be absurd.”

“No, hear me out.” Kili helps him stand up and they slip slide their way to the floor. “You've saved his life from Azog, found Smaug's weakness, and found the Arkenstone. You're clearly the favorite now.”

“All he does is glare at me.”

“He doesn't really have any other expression. Do you think he'll make you his heir? Fili will be so disappointed.”

Bilbo is chuckling and shaking his head when they step into the hallway. “Its all right, I'll just make Fili my heir.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Years of devotion and love, all for naught. Left with nothing but an empty bed and an emptier heart.”

“Please, I'll retire from the throne after a week and we can go on holiday.”

“Well that's a different story entirely.” They're giggling like children and bumping into each other every other step when Ori comes careening around the corner looking panicked and wild.

“The orcs are attacking!”


	18. Battles are won

Bilbo is in shock when Bofur finds him. He's covered in gore and blood, a gash runs up his left arm and his ears ring from that last blow that knocked him to the ground but he's conscious and mostly aware. Bofur removes his sword from an orc before helping him sit up and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“You did good, lad. Still got all your limbs and everything.” Bilbo laughs shakily and feeling starts to return to his wobbly legs. “Come on, let's get you inside.”

“Where's Kili? Are he and Fili all right?” The hobbit stumbles after the dwarf. “And Thorin and everyone else?”

Bofur leads him by the hand and doesn't say anything for a long moment. “Thorin got stuck pretty bad but he'll pull through, we think.”

There are others around them now, elves from the Mirkwood and men from Laketown, who watch them go. Bilbo thinks he sees Legolas but he's too far away to know for sure.

“I bet he'll throw a right fit over the elves helping once he's got the breath for it.”

“Oh, no doubt about it.”

“Kili says that Thorin having a tantrum is one of the most amusing things to see.” Bilbo knows he's rambling but he can't stop. If he stops the blood on his clothes and the pain in his arm becomes real. The fact that is wasn't Kili to find him like he promised he would becomes real. “I'm rather looking forward to it. The boys say its quite a sight. They told me that their mother once threw Thorin out of the house by his trousers for having a fit.”

Bofur squeezes his hand tightly and nods. “Aye, Dis is a formidable woman. You won't want to cross her.”

They're entering Erebor and the front hall is filled with the injured waiting for attention and there are several people sitting against walls quietly, pale and stunned into complete stillness.

“Kili says he can't wait for her to arrive. Says she'll make a proper kingdom out of this mountain in record time.”

“If anyone could it'd be her.” Bofur leads him down a side hall and the rest of the company is waiting with solemn faces that relax slightly at the sight of them.

“Bofur.” Bilbo tugs on his hand like a child begging for attention. “Tell me Kili and Fili are okay.”

“Fili will recover.”

“He'll be okay. Tell me he'll be okay.” Bilbo feels his heart clench. “Lie to me Bofur.”

The dwarf tightens his grip and doesn't let go even when they reach the others. “Kili will be fine, Bilbo.”


	19. Waking up and more waiting

Thorin wakes up in the early morning hours and demands to know where his nephews are. Fili limps over to climb into his bed and lays silently beside him while an elven healer explains they'll both make a full recovery but the severity of Kili's condition is unknown until he wakes up. She shoves Thorin back down when he tries to stand up and tells him in no uncertain terms that she will kill him if he does anything to impede his own recovery.

Bilbo cracks a small smile when Gandalf tells him about it later. He hasn't left Kili's bedside since he sat down fourteen hours earlier.

Legolas appears at some point but only for a short moment. He places a handful of foxglove on the bedside table and vanishes before another elf spots him. Bilbo thinks Kili would have laughed at the boy's obvious inexperience with sneaking around behind his father's back.

“I think he's taken a fancy to dwarves.” He tells Kili. “No doubt Thorin will be thrilled by Thranduil's disappointment.”

Kili doesn't answer. His head wound has finally stopped seeping and the stump of his right arm is covered by the sheet.

“We'll be lucky if Fili ever lets you out of his sight after this. I wouldn't be surprised if he tied you up and hid you in a closet.” Bilbo taps a rhythm against Kili's remaining hand. “Maybe he'll let me visit you sometimes.”

Dwalin comes in and throws Bilbo over his shoulder and carries him to a bedroom around the 24 hour mark. “We'll lock you in if we have to.” He tosses the hobbit on the bed and orders Ori to make him sleep.

Ori cuddles with him as he heaves great shuddering sobs into the pillow until he falls asleep and when Bilbo wakes up Fili has joined them on the bed. He looks just as lost as Bilbo feels and the three of them spend the night huddled together, miserable and terrified.

Kili wakes up after three days and the first thing he does is ask if he should do like Azog and jam a fire poker in his arm's place.

Fili breaks down in tears and nearly throws up he's laughing so hard. Bilbo almost falls from his chair in his hysterics. Thorin will later insist that while he did he laugh he was not amused.


	20. A lack of subtlety and secrets

Kili takes the loss of his arm and the sight in his left eye better than everyone else.

“An arm and an eye for all of Erebor? Sounds like a fair price.” He laughs and takes great joy in bumping the shortened limb against the Laketown men still hanging around. It makes them terribly uncomfortable and Thorin is sort of encouraging it as its making them pack up faster.

The elves had left the week previous and the lady healer had warned Kili to avoid anything strenuous for some time. It was at that point she glared at Bilbo which made him wonder just how many people outside the company knew about them being together.

Apparently everyone knew.

It explained a lot of the disapproving looks the men sent his way. 

“Well you're not exactly subtle.” Dori points out reasonably. “And men are a terribly repressed race. They've got all sorts of strange ways.”

“How have we not been subtle?”

“Kili wasn't exactly quiet when he told Thorin how you found the Arkenstone.” Nori smirks at him. “On the gold piles? I'd have never thought you had it in you.”

“KILI!” The dwarf takes off running, leaving his conversation with Bombur unfinished.

Dwarves start arriving three weeks after Erebor is reclaimed. Dis is part of the first caravan and she slaps Thorin in front of everyone and then screams at him for spiriting her sons away on a quest without telling her first.

Its at this point that Fili and Kili rush in, tripping over each other and dragging Bilbo in after them, shouting in greeting. Dis takes one look at the scars covering Fili's face and Kili's prototype metal arm and punches Thorin in the stomach before sweeping them into her arms and lifting both of them off the ground.

“If you ever run off again I'll skin you both alive!”

They nod eagerly and then Bilbo is shoved in her face. “This is Bilbo Baggins. We're getting married!”

And now all the newly arrived dwarves know their personal business. Lovely.

Dis looks him over carefully and then slaps Fili upside the head. “First you vanish for a year and now your brother's marrying before you?!”

“Ma-”

Bilbo is picked up in a bone crushing hug. “Welcome to the family!”


	21. Weddings and new beginnings

They're married a year after retaking Erebor and the ceremony is beautiful if a bit of a mishmash of hobbit and dwarf traditions. Bilbo is frankly shocked by how many hobbits attend and gratified to see them give the dwarves a run for their money with mead consumption. Kili's fox form is a hit with the children and he looks so pleased when he plays with them that Bilbo almost feels bad for dragging him away at the end of the night.

They tumble into bed and stay there well into the afternoon the next day. Everyone smirks at them when they finally stumble into the dining hall for dinner and Kili makes a show of grabbing Bilbo inappropriately. He gets several catcalls and a smack to the arm.

Several elves that attended the wedding are still there and Legolas seems especially taken by Gloin's young son who has done nothing but insult him all day. He apparently thinks its cute. Gloin threatens to snap him in half if he tries anything. Gloin's wife rolls her eyes and teaches Legolas to braid like a dwarf.

The lady healer spends most of her visit glaring at Thorin who glares right back. Everyone starts making bets on when the tension snaps and one of them is thrown on a table to be ravished. No one's sure which will be doing the ravishing. Dwalin whispers loudly that Thorin could do with a good ravishing. He gets kicked in the shin for it.

Kili plays with the hobbit children every chance he gets and makes eyes at them when he can't. Bilbo's heart warms when he sees them playing together and wishes he and Kili could have one.

He gets his wish when Frodo Baggins refuses to put Kili down and bursts into tears when the departing hobbits try to load him into the travel cart. He cries and begs to not have to return to an empty house and no parents. The fox licks his cheeks and nuzzles him in an attempt to quiet the crying but all he's accomplishing is the getting of snot and tears into his fur.

Bilbo scoops them both up and Kili is quick to wrap around his shoulders. “Could he stay here? Just for a bit, Kili and I are planning a trip to the Shire in a year so so.”

The Sackville-Bagginses give him a squinty, suspicious look. “Why would you want him?”

“Well, Kili and I don't have children do we?” He lifts his chin and stares them down. “And Frodo hasn't got parents. Seems like a perfect match.”

Frodo stops crying and latches onto Bilbo's shirt with all the strength of a tiny child hobbit. 

That's how they come to have a son three weeks after being married. Kili almost has a heart attack he's so happy and Frodo's smile could rival the sun.

It takes Bilbo all of five minutes to realize what a handful a small child, a husband, and a dozen assorted, bratty dwarves is going to be. But seeing Kili place Frodo on his shoulders and begin to make plans for his education and activities for them to do makes his heart warm. And Bilbo has a second realization as he follows his fox and his son inside to ask Balin and Ori about teaching the boy.

He hasn't thought about his books and maps at Bag End for a long time.


End file.
